I'm not gonna pass this course

I'm a stupid

天師執位

I watched "天師執位" when I was in kindergarten.

Such a strong reminiscing feelings everytime when I see this video on youtube.

I can't believe I'm almost 30 now.

Phew~~30 years just flew by like this.

I still remember I lived in my old apartment (with a stairs to go to the roof top)

And my kindergarten uniform is yellow.

And my dad still hasn't deceased.

What have I done for the last 30 years???

So if this is a 30 years reflection, my next 30 years reflection will be when I'm 60.

Scary.

Anyone grew up in the early 80s in HK like me?

Radio. OMGOSH

Friday. I took at nap in the nice afternoon. I feel guilty. I should have spent my time more constructively.

11:19 pm. I'm studying too slow. I feel bad. God please help me study more efficiently.

I think I'm spiritual, but I'm not sure if I'm classified as a Christian / Catholic.

You guys can't believe what I bought today, I bought a radio. Cuz my apt is too quite, I don't have a TV.

I kinda enjoy listening to the radio when I drive, so I thought...maybe I'd get one for my apt.

:-p Listening to radio...hehe...so old fashion.

I kinda feel like "old woman, live on her own, with her little pathetic radio"

Oh well... :-)

Bad. Depressed.

I know what I'm about to say will sound very depressing, but I do feel like this way...

I completed the anatomy test on Friday. For the MC part, I got 11 questions wrong out of 31 questions.

Class average is 7 questions wrong out of 31 questions.

I feel that I'm such a stupid girl in class because I always have to ask ppl questions. I feel that ppl think that I'm very annoying.

I feel that my existence is to make other ppl feel happy / better because...when they know I did so much worse than them...that makes me feel good and smart.

Thank You

I would like to thank Leticia for tutoring me anatomy today. (hehe...although a little bit brief, but very helpful and useful) I appreciate it.

God please help me

God please help me. God please help me god please help me

I know I'm getting crazy.

I just don't know what I can do to be better

我很驚. God Please Help Me.

I'm in a healthcare school.

I failed my first Kinesiology test today.

80% to pass the test. I got 74%

I'm really sad.

If shall I do if I fail this course?

I heard some Christian in my school said "God sent you here. God wanted you to take this path. Everything is God's will"

I cried so much this afternoon.

Everyone said "it's just one test"

but...realistically, that's a reflection of my ability.

I failed my first test.

I'm so scared I won't pass semester 1.

God please help me

Unimportant Daily stuff

I thought my car broke down this morning.

The key got stuck and it wouldn't turn.

I thought I forgot to turn off the light so the battery went dead.

I checked the light and the lock. It seemed to work.

So I went back inside the house and google it on the internet.

Arh...hehe...it saids "try to move the steering wheel around when you turn the key. It could be the security system that prevents....."

Voila - it works!

If I have a lot of support here, I will be calling people to ask. But I don't, so my only options is to find ways to solve the problems myself.

Query

In my psychology class today, we talked about ethics. E.g. is it ethical to use stem cells to whatever...(hehe...I don't remember, can you guys remind me please?)

And a girl in my class - she raised her hand and said "I think it's alright, if you can help someone, why not? We should help those who are born with defects. Those who...for instance...smoke...and get cancer, we shouldn't help them because they knew it and they still do it"

I would like to know, does she has a stick up her a55?

不勇於承擔錯誤

hehe...this is almost like a confession media for me.

An incident happened today and I feel that I've uncovered a bad part of me.

Maybe people know themselves better when they grow older.

I like to run away from things I screw up.

Bad Bad Bad.

I don't know why people don't like me. Maybe I think people don't like me but it's not true.

I feel a little bit sad today.

一個人, 華人心

I shouldn't be writing blog cuz I should be doing homework / studying.

But since I haven't talked to anyone for days, I feel the need to talk / communicate.

I went to walmart and bought a coffee machine cuz there're no starbucks around where I live.

It's only 10 bucks but it works perfectly well.

I bought grounded expresso (starbucks brand)

The description says "taste this richly flavored toasted caramelized coffee beans"

hehe - sounds good.

It's tastes ok too.

I woke up by a wrong # phone call this morning.

I answered the phone "wei"

hehe...when I'm not sober, my intrinsic language is Chinese.

Since I don't have a TV here, I've been spending an awful lot of time surfing videos on youtube.

Everytime when I see HK ppl / HK scenary, I miss being there so much.

I used to study abroad briefly when I was younger, I didn't miss home, I was very excited to be away from home cuz I had so much freedom.

Maybe I'm getting older and I like being around relatives / ppl I know.

I'm scared cuz I'm approaching 30. (Can't tell you guys how many more years before I hit that big #)

Things I miss, e.g. having my relatives called me on moon festival / chinese new year etc and asked me to have dinner in grandmother's apartment.

My grandmother can cooks really well. If you guys have tried her cooking, you'll know what I'm talking about.

My grandmother is a very family oriented woman. She treats her relatives really really nice.

I don't have many friends in HK, but my phone do ring every now and then.

In here, my phone never rung.

My youngest cousin is 4 years old. He always talked gibberish to me when I see him.

I used to be the youngest person in the family. I feel this role shift and I'm one of the grown up now.

Have you guys seen "The painted veil"?

I love this movie. I watched it in DVD and I watched in 3 times in 1 day continuously.

This is one of the movie that I really love. The other one is "The cider house rules"

Oh...there's another good one "the butterfly effect"

If I have spare money, I may buy the DVD.

I did a search to watch videos clips of "the painted veil" in youtube.

It came up with "over the edge - the painted veil movie review"

I clicked on it, there were 3 fat white women discussing their thoughts about this movie.

One of them said "I don't understand why Edward insisted to take Naomi to the cholera village"

The other one said "Cuz maybe deep down, he wished she'll die from cholera so he doesn't need to divorce her"

NO! NO! NO!

Edward loves Naomi so much. He never wanted her to die. He's taking her to the cholera village because he loves her so much and he didn't know what to do / how to deal with her affair with Charles Townson.

So...he took her with him so he can owns her and he can stopped her from being around Charles townson.

I think the 3 middle age white women's responses reflected their self centered oriented culture.

(I don't mean all white ppl are like that, but that's my general feelings about white people's culture)

There's one scene in the movie, Naomi said to Charles "Do I make you happy like how you make me happy?"

That's the speech when a person loves another person purely (meaning : not because of money or anything) would say.

Have you guys said this to anyone before?

My Fear

God please give me strength so I can concentrate on my studies.

God please give me pressure so I have the motivation to study harder.

I'm scared I won't even pass semester 1. It's gonna look so bad cuz I made such a big deal about going to study in America.

Everyone I know knows that I'm quitting my job and spending a lot of $ going there to study